The Partner

The champion had calmed down. He was left alone. He had everything to his disposal, but a partner who would fit like a glove in his life. 

"I have everything, that a man can hope for! But a faithful partner close to me would be awesome. Maybe I could fill someone's life with the light of knowledge I have acquired."

Life was full of struggles, but that was what made him stand out. 

"Well, I should get back into the phase of struggle. Someone will come along." He thought. 

Work and self-seeking made his day. 

Try helping a human, and feel the humanity. 

Find someone who can share what you do. He looked for a study partner, where it was a phase of struggle. If you help people in their struggle, they would remember you and be grateful to you till eternity. Well, that's what he thought. 

Testing.

Testing.

Testing.

Had a sleepless night. Anxiety has returned. The person whom you trust more than yourself, if dumps you, the turmoil that it brings to your life can't be estimated. It makes one bitter. Even after having some experience, I believed that I had mastered my emotions. But the crack in life comes where you least expect, from the people whom you trust most. 

Maybe I had everything, a man from my background would want. And in a whiff, I lost many things. When things start going bad, they go terribly bad. 

In these rough hours, without a job, with EMIs hanging, and finances depleting fast, the emotional attachment which provided me strength turned infidel. People can recover finances, but recovering the emotional damage takes a lot of time and effort. It has drained me. This world is not a fair ground, and you can't expect fairness from cheap people. And you become what you associate yourself with.

I have two paths to take. None of them are easy. 

The ones who want to stay faithful, will do so. The ones who want to leave, will find a reason which didn't matter in the first place.

There's called a mental shutdown and tremors gripping the body. Unpleasant thoughts, withdrawal symptoms that comes down with not taking a drug. Ask an addict. See them, and they will tell you better. I feel like I have lost my sanity, and I don't know if I can recover or will take my life.

In this phase of life, I will have to depend on my parents again. I am sorry dad, that I couldn't live up to your expectations. I did more than you expected. And you were proud of me. I always wanted you to be proud of me. But then I had the nervous breakdown, and you didn't want me to strive for too much. You tried to teach me contentment, but it was me who was greedy. Wanted everything that was best. 

And I had a fall! Again! 

It will take time, father. I may recover. I may not. 

But I won't stop trying to get up again.