Letter to a Daughter - from Dad.

5^th May 2018

Dear beloved daughter,

 Wishing you a happy birthday and all the happiness in this world. At this age and time when people are more involved in technology I want to spend some time with you as my own self far from virtual entity and more into a reality.

You have turned 16 the prime of a woman's life where in some of the major decisions in her life are made. At this age your mother met me and ever since we have had the most blessed of relationship on earth. As a father I will give you plenty of advice (you might think) but then I have decided not to, though I will share with you some of my life experiences and leave the choices in your hands. You might err at this age while you take decisions for yourself and therefore I'll always be there to guide you. So trust your daddy as you always did in all matters, for dad knows his little daughter from the day she was born. Or rather I would say I know you much before the day you were born. That's the side effect of being a doctor, for when I saw your heart beating for the first time in the ultrasound scan, my heart filed with joy. It was my ‘little princess’ all to herself. I had so much hopes and expectations. You were my own blood with my 23 chromosomes and the joy to see the image of my better half in a young form was overwhelming. Even if I had 4 daughters in a row I would still be happy with you and wooden barter you for all the world. And that makes me think how some parents can murder their own children, their very own blood and that too even before they were born. There is no justification to it and no matter how much you convince yourself and others, how much ever good reasons you might give there is still some guilt lurking in the conscience. The day you were born naked in your innocence, your cry made my heart leap. And then you as you were placed in my arms I poked my finger in your palm and you clutched it tightly, gazing at me with your dark eyes. There I knew one thing- I was a father and I felt the responsibility of a father! Ask me, it is just the best feeling ever I felt as a human being.

I watched you as you grew up, saw your first steps, heard your first words and each day you became my life. I knew for sure you were my world and this world was meaningless without you. That is how all parental feelings are -the children are a hope in this dark world of death.  You are my hope to Eternity, an eternal life!

And so in the years, I gave you the best of knowledge and morals to keep my spirit and the Spirit of our forefathers alive in you. I have faith that you will carry on the legacy of our family.

16 is the age of surge of new emotions and herein you will seek your own world, find a stranger to like and love, and seek a soul companion. It is one of the best age in a girl’s life and (unfortunately if things don’t go well), it is also one of the worst years in a girl’s life. Either she gets the best of experience or the worst of the experience and it is usually of matter of fate, though common sense and caution does come handy. And this experience will shape your entire future. There are things I would like to say out of my own personal experience and which you will know (with your inquisitive mind) is right or wrong. The times have changed, and though you may be a replica of your mother, slightly better chiseled, but then your mother was a gem on earth and guarded her modesty. She loved me and needless to say I loved her, but then we never tried to make a show of our love. The beauty of this hidden love is that it is understood without expressing in words. The eyes says it all and the mind reads it all. And that increases the romance and the quality of romance. Public display of affection though not bad would leave little for the private intimate moments. And love when it is intimate and hidden gives unbound happiness.

The years to come are the trying times in your life. And you'll get stability both emotionally and in your career once you are around twenty-five. Between choosing career or making emotional judgement (I think I am the only dad to say it), choose love (but confide in me first) if you have faith that love will give you ultimate happiness. In this rush, people forget their family, seeking their career and goals. But in most cases, people do not know whether they are making the right choice for making a judgement in haste, which is more of a devil's work. It is always therefore, safer to have a career option, for in the end beauty fades, character remains and a confident woman (who had been career conscious) can take care better of herself and her family.

The prevailing times have seen aggression against women and women seeking for the rights. It is just that a woman be treated equally and this treatment has resulted in resentment among people who do not believe that women are capable of doing anything. A woman has as much right to chase her dreams as long as they are legitimate, as any man has! And I trust you will set priorities about your dreams, carriers and goals. In the pursuit of success, do not forget that you have a social obligation and a moral obligation (to society and religion).

At times you have to defend yourself and at times you have to be flexible. A rigid structure like the teeth decays, while a soft structure like that tongue stays throughout life. So if ever you find a helpless old man who needs a seat in a crowded bus or train be willing to help him even if you have to give up the reserved lady's seat. That is true feminism which unfortunately in present times is mostly misunderstood.

Be modest in your glance and attire. It may be right that people dress as they want, but it is still better to draw public attention by your good actions rather by your odd looks. The impact of action will last forever whilst (as I said earlier) looks will fade. I want you to be a woman whose action speaks, and that makes you stand out in the crowd. It is always best to blend in with the tradition and culture, for it is aptly said, “When in Rome do as the Romans do!”

The world has moved at a very rapid pace and the scientific wonders of today are a marvellous literary imaginations of yesterday. The rapid change has however, been much more destructive to the mental peace than it had ever been. We really do not have private lives. The life that is exposed to the public becomes hollow and people around develop contempt. Those who can keep their lives within the four walls in the present times are in a sense, successful in marauding evil glances and living a peaceful life. The virtual world that exist is more of harm than good and robs a person of his inner peace if he/she doesn't spend quality time in the real world.

Your mother once told me that, in the present time the content of a person's characters should be decided from the content of the inbox messages in their social accounts. I would therefore suggest you to be careful with your accounts in the social media. A secret that you hold is a secret if it is with you. A secret revealed is no more a secret and it means like you are telling everyone out there on the planet. Your body is your own and you should respect it- then only others will respect you. Adolescents make a display of themselves to unknown strangers and face harassment, and mental harassment is worse to cope up with. If you don't respect your privacy no one else will, so no matter what keep your intimate moments to yourself. The world of virtual web is dark, unknown, unexplored and all these traits makes it dangerous.

I will mention that the age has come to make the best of friends and confide in (as much as everything) with your family. Make us your best-friend and see the beauty of life in all its colours. You get to live once, you get to die once and in between this life we have to play all the parts of a human being. Be a responsible daughter, I'll be proud of you, your mother will be proud of you and your country will be proud of you!

Wishing you everlasting happiness, joy and peace. May you have many, many years of healthy and successful life ahead, by the mercy of God!

Yours lovingly,

Daddy.